This blog is my public chronicle of my struggle with chronic pain and health issues. Though I’ve reached the point where I feel like I need to process my feelings rather than let them burble under the surface and lash out at odd moments, and while I realize how much a record of how I feel and what I’ve eaten/done can help me, the thought of doing so alone keeps me from starting the record. Originally I was going to write letters to my husband, and then I recalled how much reading the words of others have helped me, and how good it feels when I’ve shared these struggles on my professional blog, and I decided to start this site.
I have no actual diagnosis for my condition, but the best summary that I can give is that I have a number of food and environmental allergies, which may or may not be related to chronic pain/numbness. At times I’ve presented as having multiple sclerosis. Other times I’ve seemed more hypermobile. I’ve had mild to moderate bouts of aphasia, sleeplessness, and unexplained weight gain. Every time I’m scanned, tested, poked and prodded, I present as “normal.” Some days I even feel it. Most days not so much.
My intent here is to first and foremost chronicle how I’m feeling, literally, and what I’ve eaten/done so I can hopefully track symptoms and causes. I’m pretty sure there will also be rants and vents and moments of despair.
Outside of struggling with chronic illness, I’m a mother, wife, and author of twenty novels, and I have a weakness for cats, and cake.
The blog title is from a story I’m writing, one I hope to have finished and for sale by the spring of 2015. The struggle to carry an ocean will go on much longer than that.